Never hit a man with your fist if someone else will hit him with his car.

The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Severe Toilet Paper Shortage

Venezuela is one of the most oil rich countries in the world. However, for years its socialist government has “progressed” it into severe food shortages. Now, they are even having to import their toilet paper.

They must have needed it all to clean up after Hugo Chavez.

Toilet Paper Man

Actual photo of Hugo Chavez.

Blogs and Articles in No Particular Order

Kristen Lamb brings her acid wit to bear on Abercrombie & Fitch. Prepare to ROFL. A New Era in Fashion–How Abercrombie & Fitch Saves Needless Suffering

I had the pleasure of meeting comic book author and James Bond scholar, Alan J. Porter, while I was teaching at the DFW Writers Conference earlier this month. Interview: 007 Scholar ALAN J. PORTER on SKYFALL and 50 Years of Bond on Film

James-Bond-Lexicon-Alan-Porter

Does the publishing industry need New York? Mr. Patterson, Meet Mr. Patterson by J.E. Fishman.

The most distressing thing about the Benghazi Hearings is that so few people are bothering to follow them, still insisting this is nothing but partisan drama. Holmes and I are steadfastly neutral and unaffiliated with any party. We don’t spend our time playing politics. We had our say. (Benghazi: An Intelligence Perspective) Everything Holmes writes in this article is cited to public source, but he does not get his information from the media. We also recommend reading an interview with Admiral Lyons, former Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, another man with an excellent reputation for political neutrality who does not get his news from the media. Admiral James A. Lyons on Growing Benghazi Scandal. And if you don’t believe them, listen to the man on the ground, former Deputy Chief of Mission in Libya Gregory Hicks.

The Ender’s Game movie is almost here! The Ender’s Game Trailer by Ellie Ann.

You know about the “Hey, Girl” Ryan Gosling meme? Just when he thought it was safe to go back on Facebook, there is now the Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal meme. Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal and We Can Die Happy

I know Mother’s Day is past, but this is still a fun read. From Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, 10 Bad Mother’s Day Gifts for 2013.

Big day for Trekkies! The new Star Trek: Into the Darkness movie is out! This next video is in honor of the Spocks who have brought me so much entertainment over the decades.

Campaign Style Poll Daddy Question of the Week

All the best to all of you for a week of keeping it clean.

Piper Bayard


16 thoughts on “ The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Severe Toilet Paper Shortage

    • on ,
      Jay Holmes said:


      Hi Ellie Ann. Now that you are a famous globe trotting big shot author are we still friends? : )

  1. on ,
    Shantnu said:


    Lol. Love the toilet paper vid. Gives me a idea for my next book.

    “Toilet paper has run out in Venezuela. The people are rioting. Civil War is breaking out. The government orders 300 tonnes of toilet paper, but it is hijacked by Al Qaeda, and blamed on the US. Venezuela threatens war on America, if it doesn’t get its TP…

    Now Mr Hero must rescue the tp, and also win the affections of the beautiful, blond scientist, who looks more like a supermodel than a scientist.

    (Background scene, in which evil CIA/army guy tries to betray hero, so he can steal tp and sell it on the black market).

    This summer, get ready for the most thrilling adventure you have ever seen in your life. Bums will be cleaned, or they will be destroyed. Nominated for 5 Oscars.”

    Mind you, I have written a short story on this theme; maybe it’s time to expand it into a full book. Any Hollywood producers who read this blog, please contact me.

    • on ,
      Jay Holmes said:


      Hi Shantnu. Does anyone attempt to dope the TP with poison Ivy?

  2. I do hope the Venezuelans don’t get bogged down with these troubles, but they could be on a roll.
    (Lame, but somebody had to say it…) 🙂

    • on ,
      Jay Holmes said:


      Glad you said it. I laughed. Laughing is good.

  3. And here I was complaining that my roommate buys the cheapest TP eva! Guess I should be grateful we’re not rationing pieces of cardboard out yet.

    • on ,
      Jay Holmes said:


      Hi Jess. For a reasonable price we can provide an “intervention” for that roomie.

  4. on ,
    Nigel Dogberry said:


    If Americans don’t get enough fiber in their diet, how come they buy toilet paper in packages as big as hay bales?

    • on ,
      Jay Holmes said:


      Hmm…they might be using it for insolating mud walls as the economy continues to plummet and energy costs rise.. Just a guess.

      • on ,
        Nigel Dogberry said:


        It appears to me that there will be a great opportunity for a black market in toilet paper. Well, maybe a “brown” market would be more descriptive.

    • on ,
      Jay Holmes said:


      Wow Julie. I had missed that obvious correlation. Thank you.

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