Every situation is improved by the introduction of chocolate.

Epic Battles: Bacon Vs. Grumpy Cat

By Piper Bayard

The two most popular social media memes are Bacon and Grumpy Cat, but as Highlander fans can tell you, “There can be only one!” The time has come to decide, and the showdown is right here and now. Who will rule the Cyberverse, Bacon or Grumpy Cat?



BACON, give us ten reasons why you should be Ruler of the Cyberverse rather than Grumpy Cat . . .

1.  Bacon doesn’t need a litter box.

2.  You can wrap bacon around a filet mignon and get it back.

3.  Bacon doesn’t fight with your dog.

4.  Bacon doesn’t cough up hairballs in your house shoes.

5.  Bacon doesn’t pee in your laundry when it gets mad at you.

6.  If bacon wakes you up at 5:00 a.m., it makes you smile.

7.  Bacon never scratches your furniture.

8.  Bacon doesn’t leave dead animals in your bed.

9.  Bacon tastes good all by itself. If a cat tastes good, it’s probably because it was cooked in bacon.

10. Bacon doesn’t need to be neutered, because you can never have too much bacon.

And now to you, Grumpy Cat . . . Give us ten reasons you deserve to rule.

Grumpy Cat No

Well, there you have it folks. Time to cast your vote. Who is your choice to be the Ruler of the Cyberverse, Bacon or Grumpy Cat?

Here’s the good news. Enter the FIRELANDS Apocalypse Reader/Blogger Challenge, and you won’t have to choose! Reader prize includes BOTH bacon AND a stuffed Grumpy Cat to keep you fed and in good cheer during the post-apocalyptic devastation. They come with the Swedish FireKnife, barter goods, a signed copy of FIRELANDS, and an Eddie Bauer Go Bag.

No purchase necessary to win. Readers can enter now by signing up for the Bayard & Holmes Newsletter. If you have a copy of FIRELANDS, you can enter by leaving a quote or reference to the book for me here, on FB, or on Twitter. You can also enter by leaving reviews at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, iTunes, or Goodreads. Feel free to enter multiple ways. Each entry counts.

Swedish Fire Knife on the Dock

Bloggers can enter by blogging about anything to do with apocalypse and linking back to the original FIRELANDS Apocalypse Reader/Blogger Challenge posting. Your prize will be a feature at the Social In Worldwide, Inc., blog network with over 2 million Twitter followers.

See FIRELANDS Apocalypse Reader/Blogger Challenge for more details.

Drawings will be held at midnight, July 18–tomorrow night!

Field on Fire Canstock

Eighty years in the future, America has devolved into a totalitarian theocracy. The ruling Josephites clone the only seeds that grow in the post-apocalyptic climate, allowing their Prophet to control who eats, who starves, and who dies in the ritual fires that atone society.

Subsisting on the fringes, Archer risks violation and death each day as she scours the forest for game to feed her people. When a Josephite refugee seeks sanctuary in her home, Archer is driven to chance a desperate gamble. A gamble that will bring down the Prophet and deliver seeds and freedom, or end in a fiery death for herself and for everyone she loves.

Seeds are life . . . Seeds are power . . . Seeds are the only hope of a despairing people. What will Archer do for the seeds of freedom, and what will she justify in their name?


Available from Amazon in Paperback and on Kindle

Also in e-book at Barnes & Noble and Kobo,

and at iTunes for iPad and mobile devices.

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19 thoughts on “ Epic Battles: Bacon Vs. Grumpy Cat

  1. I must vote for Grumpy Cat because he has afforded me many a laugh. Btw, I welcomed your Firelands on my Kindle the other day. My brother gave me some substantial Amazon wampum for my 50th. I kicked off the celebration with a digital bagfull.

    • Awesome! I’m honored that you would choose to spend your birthday wampum that way. Thank you!

      And I can understand your choice. It is a tough one!

      A very Happy Birthday to you!

      • Aww, shucks! Seriously, I admire your writing, your style and am impressed by the “voice” always so well-defined.
        Looking forward to the first chapter!
        Appreciate you BD wishing. I celebrate each day!
        All the Best!

  2. I can’t choose! I want both! 🙂 Thanks for the sleepless night last night. I’m thoroughly enjoying FIRELANDS (and that is such an understatement).

    • Thank you, Diana. That makes my day. And I do apologize for making you choose between Bacon and Grumpy Cat, but There Can Be Only One. 🙂

  3. on ,
    Margaret Taylor said:

    Oh too funny! I love it!

    Sadly, as much as I love Grumpy Cat, I just had to vote for Bacon! He’s reasonings make so much more sense…:D

    OH, and I triple <3'd Firelands btw! Well done, well done indeed my dear!

  4. on ,
    Dave said:

    When bacon takes Grumpy Cat’s head, will there be a cool lightning storm like in the movie?

  5. This is hilarious!! I voted for grumpy cat even though I broke down and bought bacon for the first time in about a year!!!
    Thanks for bringing this to the party. I am still making my way through everyone’s posts. There are a lot of great stories to read. It’s still raging over there!

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