Never hit a man with your fist if someone else will hit him with his car.

The DHS Trigger Word Challenge!

By Piper Bayard

It’s out! The Department of Homeland Security released the list of words that trigger Homeland Security unwarranted monitoring of our social media. What a great opportunity to have a bit of fun by playing the DHS Trigger Word Challenge.

%22GAME%22 on keyboard Canstock

Below is the list of my favorite words that I pulled from the Department of Homeland Security Analyst’s Desktop Binder. How many of them can you use in a sentence? Just to make sure that 20-something dropout at the NSA-contracted private corporation doesn’t get confused and think you’re a jihadi terrorist, be sure to include the word “bacon” in your sentence. Have fun! And don’t worry that you will get the DHS on your tail by commenting here. PRISM already has you covered. 🙂

From the Department of Homeland Security National Operations Center Media Monitoring Capability Desktop Reference Binder:

Interstate                         Authorities                    Initiative                    Facility

Southwest                        Worm                              2600                           Cloud

Drill                                   Cancelled                      Leak                             Smart

Exercise                            Help                               Burst                            Trojan

Cops                                   Recovery                       Crash                           Twister

Police                                 Recall                            Agriculture                 Sick

Exposure                           Flu                                  Wave                            Swine

Tamiflu                             Vaccine                          Strain                          Airport

Watch                               Closure                            Metro                          Power

Subway                              Electric                           Failure                        Dock

Relief                                  Delays                            Mexico                       Drug

Marijuana                         Border                            Twister                       Snow

Ice                                        Bust                               Pirates                        Plot

and my personal favorite . . .                                  Social media

Remember . . . Only one sentence, and include the word “bacon.” Go! 🙂

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25 thoughts on “ The DHS Trigger Word Challenge!

  1. If the agents knock on my door because of this I am going to laugh my rear end off! This is so fun, I am going to put this on my site. Great Idea.

    Watch the interstate for the Trojan sized twister armed with electric snow, alert the social media for Tamiflu worms leaking flu agriculture driving thru the Mexico plot eating bacon.

        • Actually, I think instead of waterboarding, interrogators are reading subjects the text of my first manuscript. Last I heard, the longest hold out was Page 23. He never recovered. 🙂

          • In that case, I will go before they read your first manuscript. I have been water boarded, now that I know what to expect. I am sure I can last longer, probably 15-20 seconds. Ha ha.

  2. Okay, here goes: Went Southwest on the Interstate, the cops stopped me and found a Trojan with marijuana, ice and Tamiflu wrapped in bacon, to my relief the authorities didn’t find the vaccine for exposure to Subway sandwiches that contain the worm that can drill and give you a Mexican swine twister flu.

    Waiting for the knocking.

    • LOL. They’ll probably be at MY door for that one. Great use of vocabulary. That Trojan with marijuana, ice and Tamiflu wrapped in bacon sounds worthy of a teenager in an American Pie film. 🙂

  3. Pingback: The Games People Play… | robakers

  4. Lol.

    I’ve always suspected there was something wrong with social media. Now I know. It’s where all the terrorists hang out.

    OMG! Does that mean my ten bazzilion followers maybe terrorists? Eek! How will I sleep at night?

    There is only one way now. I must rat on someone, to prove I’m loyal….

    • That will no doubt keep the authorities at bay until the next purging, at least. That is what comes next, right?

  5. Challenge accepted!

    Faced with delays on the interstate at the southwest Mexico border—whether due to a new wave of swine flu, a marijuana bust, or power-hungry authorities running another closure drill—we burst from the van like 2600 ants crashing out of busted anthill, like Keystone cops leaking out of a subway car, like Pirates spilling onto the dock for a night of whiskey, women, and bacon, drug ourselves across the border and tweeted out our smart move on social media.

    Yes, it’s a run-on, but hey, 26 DHS trigger words + BACON. 🙂

  6. Since I’m no doubt already on the list for my research into 19th century bomb-making anarchists (shout-out of thanks to Holmes for his help), here’s my modest contribution. Of course, the others before me put mine to shame:

    Oops…the boyfriend’s Trojan sprung a leak (apparently, it was as effective as our border with Mexico), and 2600 little pirates hit the subway with all the subtlety of a twister on the interstate, or pigs futilely running from the bacon apocalypse.


  7. on ,
    Dave said:

    In a leaked plot twister initiative worthy of sick Interstate authorities, Southwest Mexico Border police laced a burst trojan with a drug-induced swine flu strain, contaminating the evidence from a Marijuana bust after the subway carrying it crashed into a Metro Airport Facility, while simultaneously unleashing a wave of electric power failure halting or causing delays in the production of Tamiflu Vaccine, watched during the entire exercise by smart pirates, to the relief of corrupt politicians watching hookers snorting ice down at the docks and eating bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches.

  8. on ,
    Rebecca said:

    Off the coast of Mexico, the marijuana drug running pirates in the Gulf headed southwest for more sun exposure and to avoid freak snow storms while playing Twister and eating bacon to ward of the flu.

  9. on ,
    Nichole Petersen said:

    Three and a half years late on this, but why not?

    I was driving on the interstate, southwest toward Mexico, when the airport texted to say my flight had been cancelled due to a recall of the most recent flu vaccine and a problem with the pilot’s electric watch, which the authorities had confiscated after a post on social media explained how the failure was related to smart pirates who decided to exercise while watching Twister at their facility which was just south of the border, so I took the initiative to take the subway instead of the plane, but I ran into a guy who was selling marijuana, Tamiflu, and ice on a street corner while trying to gain exposure for his new band, The Police, who needed help selling 2600 copies of their new album, but the strain of travel was so great that I got sick and fell down in the snow, and then I needed diphenhydramine for allergy relief; then the cops burst through the door on a drug bust, but my friend Trojan had already taken them to the dock, but the worm in the boat caused a leak which caused delays, and so he had not choice but to reveal the plot to increase government power by killing off the swine and causing a wave of angry farmers and the subsequent crash of the agriculture community in metro areas, the recovery of which resulted in the closure of all cloud-dependent programs.

    Pretty sure I got them all except bust and drill.

    • Brilliant! And this . . . “I ran into a guy who was selling marijuana, Tamil, and ice on a street corner” . . . That is the New Mexico I know and love. 🙂

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