Never hit a man with your fist if someone else will hit him with his car.

The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Zombie Bikini Babes Calendar

Coming to a morgue near you. The 2013 Zombie Bikini Babes Calendar.

The Walking Dead Bikini Calendar, image from Facebook

And you thought tan lines were a problem . . .

Blogs and Articles in No Particular Orderย 

Fainting Goat Traps Teen in Tree

Self-Publishers Aren’t Killing the Industry, They’re Saving It by David Gaughran.

Turkey Block. Writers Block. So much in common. Five Signs You Have “Turkey Block” by Jenny Hansen.

Along that vein, how did you cook your turkey? I Spatchcocked mine. Just because “spatchcocked” is such a fun word to say. Basically, you remove the backbone, flatten the turkey on a pan, brush it with oil, and fry it in your oven. It was amazing. Roast Spatchcocked Turkey–Martha Stewart Recipes

Ellie Ann observes that You’re Not Really a Fan Unless You’re Wearing it On Your Underwears.

Via Lonny Dunn at ProNetworkBuild, Facebook Admins Beware: Always Read the Fine Print.

Driving While . . . Shaving? A hoot of a story from Natalie Hartford.

Nine More Gorgeous European Libraries

Angela Ackerman, author of the book that belongs on every writer’s shelf, The Emotion Thesaurus, pointed me to this hysterical video. Dumb Ways to Die

And for our Poll Daddy question of the week . . .

All the best to all of you for avoiding the undead.

Piper Bayard–The Pale Writer of the Apocalypse


20 thoughts on “ The End is Near (and we deserve it) . . . Zombie Bikini Babes Calendar

  1. OMG…I am totally going to ask hubby to try spatchcocking a turkey this holiday season. YUM! Then I’ll be able to say the word ALL Christmas day…it’s like gift giving. Squeeee….LOL!!

    Thanks for the uber shout out!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • LOL. I’ll admit it. I had fun embarrassing my 14-yr-old daughter in the crowded store the other day. Me across the refrigerator section, “I can’t wait to spatchcock this chicken. Want to help?” No. She wanted to crawl under the tortilla rack. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s one of those words that just sounds fun-dirty, doesn’t it?

  2. on ,
    J Holmes said:


    Hello Sprocket. My guess is that the mere appearance of being a zombie would qualify you. You could avoid dying and simply become a member of congress in order to qualify for the calender.

  3. Bikini zombies aren’t my thing. They leave parts behind in the morning. And they want to keep biting.

    • on ,
      J Holmes said:


      Yea, I can understand that. I’ve always avoided them in personal terms.

  4. Dumb ways to die – cool & funny. My wife pointed me to this one earlier in the week. It wasn’t until I got to the end that I realised it was a safety video for the Melbourne train system. I would make some off-colour comment about Aussies, but unfortunately Air New Zealand just produced a riff on The Hobbit by way of a safety video which plumbs an even deeper barrel of laughs.. Oh, the things we inflict upon the unsuspecting world from Australasia…Sigh.

    • on ,
      J Holmes said:


      Hi Mathew. I liked the Hobbit safety video. I can’t think of anything that you folks have inflicted on the northern hemisphere. We inflict so much on ourselves that you folks would have to make an extreme effort for us to notice any discomfort.

  5. I Heart your crazy Friday mashups! Fainting goats and spatchcocked turkeys….I have no idea where you find this stuff. Thanks tons for including my Turkey Block post. ๐Ÿ™‚

    p.s. Angela Ackerman’s video is…inspired. And disturbing. ROFL.

    • on ,
      J Holmes said:


      Hi Jenny. Thanks for stopping by. We need a better name for that particular method of cooking turkey. I hate eating anything that sounds like a construction repair technique.

  6. on ,
    EllieAnn said:


    Oh, ew! Open wounds are about the unsexiest thing in the world, and now there’s a calendar. It’s hilarious. I wonder if it has to do with the new zombie romance, Warm Bodies?
    I loved Jenny’s post on turkey block. And as far as my favorite library, my favorite one is the one closest to me. ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a good week!

    • on ,
      J Holmes said:


      Hi Ellie Ann. I’m not a zombie fan. I think I’ll just use the usual pleasant landscapes type calendar. Congratulations on your recent publishing success.

      May you and your loved ones have a great holiday season.

  7. I didn’t know that bikinis were zombie attire. Given the fact that I would not inflict my body in a bikini on the world’s eyes, does that mean I’m less likely to be bitten in the apocalypse? Saved by the one-piece!

    That Dumb Ways video was hilarious. Who knew it was a train safety ad? Thanks for the links. I loved Ellie Ann’s!

    • on ,
      J Holmes said:


      Hi Julie. I also refuse to wear a bikini. Even when I was 19 I wouldn’t wear one. I’m just suborn on some points.

  8. How the heck did you flatten your turkey? Holy crap, I am so going to do this! I bet my kid’s Buck Hoodlum could cut that sucker up. And hey, thanks for the mention! Did the song get caught in your head too? Haha

    • Well, I smacked it real hard with a chopping knife. Martha said to stand on a step stool and smash down it with your hands until the breast bone breaks. I, however, don’t have a step stool handy, and I had already made quite the mess across my countertop. I expect either way will work. And yes. The song is still stuck in my head. ๐Ÿ™‚

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