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1-800-ZAPP-ASS: Shocking Politicians into Shape!

by Piper Bayard | Apr 5, 2016 | Amusing Ourselves and Hopefully You, Humor

Bayard & Holmes ~Piper Bayard & Jay Holmes Are you feeling abused by your political system? Disgusted with your presidential candidates, congressmen, and their yes men? Ready to move to Central America to find some semblance of organized government? Fear not!...
Mohammed Faqwahdi — A GENUINE Terrorist Expert on ISIS

Mohammed Faqwahdi — A GENUINE Terrorist Expert on ISIS

by Piper Bayard | Oct 19, 2015 | Amusing Ourselves and Hopefully You, Foreign Affairs, Humor, Mohammed Faqwahdi, News

Bayard & Holmes ~ Piper Bayard & Jay Holmes Given recent problems with several Western “expert” commentators in the fields of intelligence, counterterrorism, and asymmetric warfare, we know that many of our readers are anxious to find an authority they can...
Bayard 2016 — I’ll Do It. I’ll Run for President.

Bayard 2016 — I’ll Do It. I’ll Run for President.

by Piper Bayard | Sep 27, 2015 | Amusing Ourselves and Hopefully You

“America” is not a location. It is the unique ideal that government must answer to the people and not the other way around. Americans are not born. Rather, America itself is born anew with each generation that embraces that ideal and shoulders the...
Make Your TSA Grope Memorable

Make Your TSA Grope Memorable

by Piper Bayard | Mar 30, 2015 | Amusing Ourselves and Hopefully You

By Bayard & Holmes Spring break is kicking off the travel season, and summer is just around the corner. The DHS and the TSA are already using this timing to further justify molesting American citizens and irradiating them with shocking, and shockingly expensive,...
Bayard & Holmes Personal History Improvement–Bringing the World a Better Past

Bayard & Holmes Personal History Improvement–Bringing the World a Better Past

by Piper Bayard | Feb 9, 2015 | Amusing Ourselves and Hopefully You, News

By Jay Holmes The hot media story has been the NBC anchor Brian Williams debacle. In an apparent attempt to burnish his personal image, Brian claimed to have been in a helicopter that was hit by an Iraqi RPG, when in fact he had been in a different helicopter.  ...
Frozen Bitch Face — What You Need To Know

Frozen Bitch Face — What You Need To Know

by Piper Bayard | Jan 26, 2015 | Amusing Ourselves and Hopefully You, Life and Death

By Piper Bayard Everyone’s face freezes at forty-five. Seriously. At forty-five, give or take a year or two, Frosty the Face Freezer breathes on us at an unpredictable instant, and the expression we are wearing on our face at that moment is frozen there. Forever. This...
Obnoxious Relatives? Call the Spanking Santa!

Obnoxious Relatives? Call the Spanking Santa!

by Piper Bayard | Dec 15, 2014 | Amusing Ourselves and Hopefully You, Holiday Survival

By Piper Bayard & Jay Holmes The most wonderful stressful time of the year is upon us. Long lines, visiting relatives, and credit card bills that give bankers a warm, fuzzy feeling in their wallets. But fear not! Bayard & Holmes Holiday Survival is back once...
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