By Piper Bayard and Jay Holmes

Last week, Georgetown law student Sarah Fluke testified at a congressional hearing and asked Congress to make it mandatory for employers to provide contraception coverage for their employees in their health insurance benefits.

In response, conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh called her a “slut” and a “prostitute.” Here’s his quote:

“What does it say about the college co-ed [Sandra] Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says she must be paid to have sex?” Limbaugh asked. “What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex.”

Not only did he blantantly misquote her, the next day he stated she should post videos of herself having sex as a way of compensating taxpayers for her birth control. (She was not advocating that taxpayers pay for anything.)

Even Rush’s “apology” mischaracterized the issue and could reasonably be construed as insulting:

Lest we get sidetracked into unnecessary discussions about employers’ rights, religious freedoms, or the rights and wrongs of contraception, there is an issue in this that is irrefutable, and that issue is that Limbaugh was a disgusting coward to bully this unsuspecting woman so completely while locked in the safety of his radio booth behind his microphone.

This type of misogynistic behavior is more typical of how we would expect a radio announcer in Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan to treat a woman. Limbaugh could have made his point and been plenty offensive without directing such rude, unjustified name calling at someone who was merely stating her well-considered position in a congressional hearing. For him to attack her so personally demonstrates a level of hostility toward women that should never be supported in a civilized society.

Therefore, Rush has earned a Bayard & Holmes CyberSmack.

We believe Rush needs to learn the value of civility toward women. Therefore, as part of his CyberSmack, we will be awarding him a ticket to Trinidad, Colorado, the gender change capital of the United States, where he will be transformed into a vague approximation of a woman. The operation should go something like this. . . .

image of Rush Limbaugh by Nicolas Shayko

image of Rush Limbaugh by Nicolas Shayko


image from FEMA

image from FEMA


We will then send Rush to Afghanistan with the mission of convincing the Taliban to be polite to women. To accomplish this mission, we will equip him with a special electronic device to translate his words from English to Pashto. When Rush says, “Hello, how are you today?” the translator will twist his words in the same manner he inflicts on everyone else and will produce a “Rush” of insults involving references to their impotence and their affection for goats.

The Taliban will then, no doubt, teach Rush how it feels to be an abused woman, and what life is like when a society has no value or respect for its women. That’s a place our country should never go, no matter what the issue.

What other fun can you think of to teach Rush how to behave toward women?