By Piper Bayard
It’s out! The Department of Homeland Security released the list of words that trigger Homeland Security unwarranted monitoring of our social media. What a great opportunity to have a bit of fun by playing the DHS Trigger Word Challenge.
Below is the list of my favorite words that I pulled from the Department of Homeland Security Analyst’s Desktop Binder. How many of them can you use in a sentence? Just to make sure that 20-something dropout at the NSA-contracted private corporation doesn’t get confused and think you’re a jihadi terrorist, be sure to include the word “bacon” in your sentence. Have fun! And don’t worry that you will get the DHS on your tail by commenting here. PRISM already has you covered. 🙂
From the Department of Homeland Security National Operations Center Media Monitoring Capability Desktop Reference Binder:
Interstate Authorities Initiative Facility
Southwest Worm 2600 Cloud
Drill Cancelled Leak Smart
Exercise Help Burst Trojan
Cops Recovery Crash Twister
Police Recall Agriculture Sick
Exposure Flu Wave Swine
Tamiflu Vaccine Strain Airport
Watch Closure Metro Power
Subway Electric Failure Dock
Relief Delays Mexico Drug
Marijuana Border Twister Snow
Ice Bust Pirates Plot
and my personal favorite . . . Social media
Remember . . . Only one sentence, and include the word “bacon.” Go! 🙂
If the agents knock on my door because of this I am going to laugh my rear end off! This is so fun, I am going to put this on my site. Great Idea.
Watch the interstate for the Trojan sized twister armed with electric snow, alert the social media for Tamiflu worms leaking flu agriculture driving thru the Mexico plot eating bacon.
LOL. Excellent! And thanks for the share. 🙂
My pleasure…it will be nice to have a friend when we are being water-boarded
Actually, I think instead of waterboarding, interrogators are reading subjects the text of my first manuscript. Last I heard, the longest hold out was Page 23. He never recovered. 🙂
In that case, I will go before they read your first manuscript. I have been water boarded, now that I know what to expect. I am sure I can last longer, probably 15-20 seconds. Ha ha.
Okay, here goes: Went Southwest on the Interstate, the cops stopped me and found a Trojan with marijuana, ice and Tamiflu wrapped in bacon, to my relief the authorities didn’t find the vaccine for exposure to Subway sandwiches that contain the worm that can drill and give you a Mexican swine twister flu.
Waiting for the knocking.
LOL. They’ll probably be at MY door for that one. Great use of vocabulary. That Trojan with marijuana, ice and Tamiflu wrapped in bacon sounds worthy of a teenager in an American Pie film. 🙂
Lol.
I’ve always suspected there was something wrong with social media. Now I know. It’s where all the terrorists hang out.
OMG! Does that mean my ten bazzilion followers maybe terrorists? Eek! How will I sleep at night?
There is only one way now. I must rat on someone, to prove I’m loyal….
That will no doubt keep the authorities at bay until the next purging, at least. That is what comes next, right?
All those words….I’m in so much trouble 🙂 everyone is monitoring me.
Crazy, isn’t it? 🙂
Challenge accepted!
Faced with delays on the interstate at the southwest Mexico border—whether due to a new wave of swine flu, a marijuana bust, or power-hungry authorities running another closure drill—we burst from the van like 2600 ants crashing out of busted anthill, like Keystone cops leaking out of a subway car, like Pirates spilling onto the dock for a night of whiskey, women, and bacon, drug ourselves across the border and tweeted out our smart move on social media.
Yes, it’s a run-on, but hey, 26 DHS trigger words + BACON. 🙂
LOL. Julie, you’re amazing with a side of bacon. 🙂
Since I’m no doubt already on the list for my research into 19th century bomb-making anarchists (shout-out of thanks to Holmes for his help), here’s my modest contribution. Of course, the others before me put mine to shame:
Oops…the boyfriend’s Trojan sprung a leak (apparently, it was as effective as our border with Mexico), and 2600 little pirates hit the subway with all the subtlety of a twister on the interstate, or pigs futilely running from the bacon apocalypse.
😉
LOL. Excellent! 🙂
In a leaked plot twister initiative worthy of sick Interstate authorities, Southwest Mexico Border police laced a burst trojan with a drug-induced swine flu strain, contaminating the evidence from a Marijuana bust after the subway carrying it crashed into a Metro Airport Facility, while simultaneously unleashing a wave of electric power failure halting or causing delays in the production of Tamiflu Vaccine, watched during the entire exercise by smart pirates, to the relief of corrupt politicians watching hookers snorting ice down at the docks and eating bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches.
That kind of made sense to me. 🙂
Brain totally fried today (blame the bacon). Great challenge and hilarious responses. Will have to give it a try – just too good to pass up!
If you’re brain is going to go, it’s best that it go with bacon. 🙂
Off the coast of Mexico, the marijuana drug running pirates in the Gulf headed southwest for more sun exposure and to avoid freak snow storms while playing Twister and eating bacon to ward of the flu.
Ooo. Good one! You know, instead of a flu shot this year, I’m just going to eat more bacon. 🙂
Always a good call!
Three and a half years late on this, but why not?
I was driving on the interstate, southwest toward Mexico, when the airport texted to say my flight had been cancelled due to a recall of the most recent flu vaccine and a problem with the pilot’s electric watch, which the authorities had confiscated after a post on social media explained how the failure was related to smart pirates who decided to exercise while watching Twister at their facility which was just south of the border, so I took the initiative to take the subway instead of the plane, but I ran into a guy who was selling marijuana, Tamiflu, and ice on a street corner while trying to gain exposure for his new band, The Police, who needed help selling 2600 copies of their new album, but the strain of travel was so great that I got sick and fell down in the snow, and then I needed diphenhydramine for allergy relief; then the cops burst through the door on a drug bust, but my friend Trojan had already taken them to the dock, but the worm in the boat caused a leak which caused delays, and so he had not choice but to reveal the plot to increase government power by killing off the swine and causing a wave of angry farmers and the subsequent crash of the agriculture community in metro areas, the recovery of which resulted in the closure of all cloud-dependent programs.
Pretty sure I got them all except bust and drill.
Brilliant! And this . . . “I ran into a guy who was selling marijuana, Tamil, and ice on a street corner” . . . That is the New Mexico I know and love. 🙂